Dil Ki Baat – Part 2: The Letter in the Drawer

Kabir went inside to fetch the letter. He came back with it folded in his palm, the paper soft at the creases, the ink faded from two years in a drawer.

They sat side by side on the balcony step, the candle between them, the rain dripping from the eaves.

"You can read it," said Arjun. "Or I'll read it. Whichever feels easier."

"I'll read it," said Kabir. His voice was not steady, but he held the paper carefully and began.

Arjun, you are the first person in this city who made me feel like I was home. You laugh at my bad jokes and fix the tap without asking and let me win at cards even when you know I'm cheating. I don't know what this is, or what to call it. I only know that I love you, and that I'm too frightened to say it in the daylight.

He stopped. Arjun was watching him with wet eyes.

"You cheat at cards?" said Arjun, very quietly.

Kabir laughed, a broken, startled sound. "Only a little."

"You're terrible at it. I always knew."

"Then why did you let me?"

"Because I liked watching you pretend," said Arjun, and wiped his eyes with the back of his hand.

They sat in silence for a while, the rain gentling to a patter.

"I'm not going home for the wedding," said Arjun at last. "I'll tell my mother the truth, when I'm ready. Maybe not this year. But I'm not going to hide any more."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm sure about you," said Arjun. "I'm less sure about everyone else. But I'd rather be scared with you than comfortable with someone who doesn't know me."

Kabir felt the tightness in his chest loosen, slowly, like a knot finally coming free.

"Can I ask you something?" he said.

"Yes."

"Would you like to stay tonight? Not for the rain. Just here, next to me, and maybe we'll talk until the power comes back?"

Arjun smiled, slow and certain. "Yes. And then I want to ask you a question too."

"What question?"

"Whether you'll let me win at cards tomorrow," said Arjun, "so I can tell you to stop cheating."

Kabir laughed, and Arjun laughed with him, and then they both stopped laughing and simply looked at each other in the candlelight.

"Can I kiss you?" Kabir asked. "Here, now, before the lights come back and everyone sees us?"

"Yes," said Arjun. "And if I want you to stop, I'll say so, even if I'm blushing."

"Green?"

"Green," whispered Arjun. "Very green."

Kabir leaned in and kissed him, slowly, tasting of chai and rain, one hand coming up to rest against Arjun's cheek. Arjun's fingers curled into his shirt, and he kissed back with a quiet, certain warmth that made Kabir's heart feel too big for his chest.

When the lights finally flickered back on in the flat behind them, neither of them moved to go inside. They stayed on the step, sharing the last of the candle's warmth, and read the letter together one more time, to make sure it still meant the same thing.